Wednesday, February 1, 2012

some thoughts on life

This past week has been one where I have been thinking a lot about human mortality. Don’t worry; this is not going to be a morbid post about death. However, my post today will have something to do with death but not morbidly.

This past Saturday night a girl who I knew when I was in school passed away after suddenly falling into a coma just over a week before. Her doctors didn’t know what was wrong with her and they had no idea why she was in a coma, or if she would recover from this coma. From the last I have heard the doctors still don’t know what was wrong. This is a scary thought to think that the doctors who make a lot of money and spend a lot of time in school learning how to do their jobs could not figure out what was going on.

When I found out about Erika being in a coma I was with my good group of friends and we spent time praying for her and her family. The week that followed I again spent time in praying for Erika and her family, and I hope that my prayers now, for peace and comfort for the family members and friends, are ones that are being answered in the way that I imagine them being answered. Because, yes, even though we prayed, what we were praying didn’t exactly happen. We prayed for healing for Erika and knowledge for the doctors but that did not happen. We also prayed for God’s will to be done in the whole situation, which, I am sure is exactly what happened, therefore, how we imagined our prayers being answered didn’t happen but our prayers were still answered.

How did this all get me to thinking about human mortality, you may ask. Well Erika was only 24 years old and as far as I know had been (relatively) healthy up until this point in her life. This makes me realize just how fragile life is and just how possible it is to be here one day and gone the next. It is impossible to know when it is your time to go but I do know that we do have some control about how we spend our time and what we devote our lives to. I know that a lot of time of my life has been spent following my own desires and focusing on my own goals instead of the desires that God has for my life. I have, numerous times, taken the steps necessary to realign my goals with the desires that God has for my life but it never takes very long to fall short and start
chasing my own desires again. It is something that I continue to work through and I have come to realize that I cannot follow the desires of God for my life without His help because I am imperfect and I don’t know what exactly it is that He has in mind for me. It is because of this realization that I continue to run back to my heavenly Father through prayer and His Word. I think this is a lesson that I, and many Christians, need to learn time and time again. Thankfully God is a God of grace and he doesn’t grow weary in teaching us.

I am so thankful that I can continue to go to God and lean on Him for strength, understanding, knowledge, grace and forgiveness.

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